Friday, October 31, 2008 Although i hate to admit it, post-production depression is here again..yes, AGAIN..=X Actually i was quite glad to receive the news that we hit FULL HOUSE this time, there were even people who didnt manage to enter the theatre coz all the tickets were given out..算是小小的慰藉吧 =)
It was a feeling i didnt know how to describe..i compare with the previous production, somehow it was different..maybe it was bcoz i had a much harder time this time ba..when the last production ended, i was happily looking forward to the next one...but when this one ended..i actually started to doubt if i want to continue to be involved in the coming one or not..
There were just so many unhappy experiences, even till the last day..i must admit that i didnt enjoy myself as much as i had thought in the beginning..but still, i put in 200% of my effort..
i was forced to do many things that i hated, tolerate things that were intolerable, put on smiles when i feel like crying, silence myself when i feel like shouting, force myself to take more stress when im on the verge of bursting...
I hope more people can understand how i feel, but sadly there were just so few..
You never know how it feels like to drag your feet across the souless field at 12 midnight, when there were nothing but droplets and droplets of rain, the humid air so thick you could hardly breathe, seeking some warmth from nothing but the dim light of a lonely pathetic lamp post..
Last week i had to stay in school till midnight for 5 days out of 7, went without dinner for 3 consecutive days and without lunch for 2..
How i wish there can be someone standing there waiting for me at the end of each hard day, with just a single line of encouragement, or a hug, or just a pat on the shoulder, for im struggling to live each day with all my energy and strength and heart and soul..but there were nothing, as always, just darkness and more darkness..
Everyday, i tell my people, if there's anything they are not sure with, just ask me, if there's anywhere they dont know how to go, i will bring them, if there's any troubles, talk to me, if anything happens, i will shoulder it...i knew i had to do this..and i did..
There wasnt a single day that i could rest properly without having to worry about pdn stuff..even when i sleep i have nightmares about rehearsals and deadlines..=(
But where is my light?
This is really a test of perserverence tolerance and will power..
I feel like doing nothing but sleep an entire day..
Maybe it's now time to rest..
I lost 3kg..Labels: life14
rock my world <3{8:58 pm}
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终于捕捉到了相隔好多好多月亮后的第一个夕阳...
今天过天桥的时候，无意间看到黄昏的景象，
毫不犹豫的拿出相机拍了一张 =)
一转身，发现一个男生，站在我身后看着同样的方向...
=D
Labels: life13
rock my world <3{8:22 pm}
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